Why Therapy?

Therapy is most certainly an investment of resources; financially, emotionally, and the list continues.  It is easy to delay or convince yourself that for now, you might just be okay without it.  It takes courage to seek out therapy and make the first phone call.  I love this article for its down-to-earth view of psychotherapy.  Truly, it is a most worthwhile (and quick) read.  

“Lastly there is psychotherapy, which from a distance looks like it has only drawbacks…it requires active engagement from its patients and sustained emotional effort; one cannot simply allow chemistry to do the work.  And yet, psychotherapy is, in certain cases, a hugely effective choice, which properly alleviates pain not by chance or magic…”

http://www.thebookoflife.org/why-psychotherapy-works/

Happy reading!  

Teachings

I came across this quote by Pema Chodron and filed it away as a keeper: “Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.” This quote can be applied to a variety of situations, the most prominent of which seems to be therapy. At the start of any therapeutic relationship, the goal is for the client to understand what therapy may entail and to form a therapeutic foundation.  Both the greatest difficulty and greatest strength of therapy is gaining a greater understanding of oneself; embarking on true self-exploration.  The issues that trouble and follow each person are those that are also worth therapeutically exploring, learning, and understanding so that change can be implemented from within, rather than simply forced upon. Sometimes and most especially when it comes to eating disorders, “forced upon” can certainly be what the beginning of recovery may feel like: the final goal of change, of weight restoration, and of a healthier relationship with food seems foreign and at times, elusive.  Surely guidance is necessary throughout this process and so is teaching tangible therapeutic skills and techniques when appropriate, but those haunting issues are those that hopefully teach the most and nurture self-understanding and in the end, self-acceptance.  Does everyone take missteps and possibly carve out a jagged life journey?  Perhaps.  It is what we learn along the way that brings meaning.   

I Am Worthy

This is a powerful phrase: I am worthy.  Clients (and all humans) deserve to feel empowered and to believe that they are worthy, just as I see them.  For those struggling, the journey towards self-acceptance is not as simple as it sounds.  I am worthy means loving yourself in your entirety and often it is marked by internal battles of questioning, second guessing, analyzing, perhaps relapsing, and using newfound coping techniques for better or for worse.  Remember how the news of Robin Williams’ death shook those with and without mental illness?  It tragically brought to light the basic tenet of “I am worthy.”  Sometimes believing “I am worthy” is the work of a lifetime, not to be confused with the desire to belong and be loved by others.  There is no better way to understand the darkest depths of mental illness, the deepest self-loathing than to read or hear a survivor’s story.  So, next time you suspect a friend is struggling begin with “You are worthy; you are strong; you mean a lot…to me." 

Perfectionism, what?

Let’s face it: struggling with perfectionism is common.  Is it possible to have everything?  To have the ideal career, house, gourmet meals, time to exercise (the list goes on), means that when we ace one of life’s many arenas, another one likely suffers.  Instead of accepting this as truth and embracing that, as humans, we cannot be everything to everyone, including to ourselves, perfectionism creeps in, making false promises.  Perfectionism is not all bad: it can be motivating, but the quest for perfectionism can also be damaging.  The truth is perfectionism is unattainable because imperfection is an innate part of the human condition.  Constantly falling short of perfection can have a significant negative impact on self-esteem, because as you’ve probably noticed by now, humans are naturally set up for this type of failure.  As you think more about perfectionism, ask yourself what brings meaning to your life?  I guarantee it will not be the sum of having “perfect” material goods or possessions or the “perfect” body.  If you’re having a little trouble getting started, begin with a simple pros and cons list: what are the benefits of perfectionism for you?  And what are the negative consequences?